My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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