What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
