I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
