Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
