But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
