Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
