i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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