Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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