he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
