Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
