ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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