Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
