i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
