Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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