if only i could text you this smell
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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