If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
