this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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