he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
