New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
