their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
