You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
