it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
