I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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