porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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