I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
