I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
