What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
