deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
