You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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