He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
