I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
