He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
