i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
