it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
