you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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