Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
