You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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