escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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