My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
