Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
