But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
