this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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