Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
