if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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