No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
