when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
