u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
we should paint friendship bongs
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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