We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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