Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
