i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
